Thursday, July 22, 2010

Moving Moments from the Brew Fest

A very special thanks to Joaquin's Auntie Lissa, who made the afternoon a joy for everyone. We love you, Grandest Tiger of the Jungle!



Those of you that know Joe and I will understand this absolute truth: We Love Beer. So we scooted our booties down to the BrewFest that is taking place this weekend down at Waterfront Park here in Portland. Some magic moments and what we've learned from them...

1.Every year Full Sail has a special keg for the Brewfest. Serious indulgence begins...At the Buzz Tent was brewmaster John Harris and the last cask of 13 year old Russian Imperial Stout. Harris loves a big beer, and the taste on this was so complete~ a religious experience, of rich toffee and oakey flavors. Transcendent, thick deep hued candy in a cup, with a full body and maturity with its age. Once Lissa and I got our cups, everyone else had to go run and get a taste for themselves, it was that good.I would have loved to have drunk it in an actual glass, just to see the color better. It was beautiful. Thank you, Mr. Harris, from the bottom of my heart.

2. If you have kids, you might prefer the experience with less noise. The trick is to get out of the tent. There are plenty of tables outside the tents, which tend to trap noise in. We brought Kiddo, and he was covering his ears with his hands in the tent. Once we moved over to a shady oak tree, everyone was happier and Kiddo could use his little hands once more.

3. Playdough is awesome. I packed this in a desperate attempt to keep Kiddo busy. Turns out kids aren't the only one's who love the stuff. While Kiddo and Auntie were playing with the stuff, two guys from Old Lompoc (that's New Old Lompoc to you) were sitting close by. When they left, we discovered they'd somehow grabbed up some of the red and green dough to shape the words "LOMPOC!" on the table. As if I needed a reason to drink their beer. Keep preachin' to the choir, dudes...

4. Avoid the "full taste" before 4 p.m. There's really nothing like watching some damn newbie puking under the table while his "ha ha, that's funny" buddy looked on. I soooo didn't need to see that. There's a reason they charge extra for the full mug. Pace yourself, get some of those great Raccoon Lodge fries, and don't go beyond 'nice buzz' territory.(I know we've all been there, but still...)

5. I've come to the realization that I Want To Buy Belts for the World. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Mr. Gray Hair With Your True Religion Jeans Hanging Off Your Ass. Listen, buddy, I am not curious about which kind of underpants you are sporting. Would you like me to pull up my Hanes Her Way up over my cheap-ass Old Navy denim so you can get a nice glimpse? Pull your effing pants up, dig?! You aren't 17, and neither am I. Have some dignity.

6. Hey, Mister! I know you've got some Happy Beer Love going on, but could you please bother to close up your porta-potty? When you leave the door unlatched, it says OPEN on my side. It wasn't my fault that I caught you peeing in the urinal, now, was it?

7. Leave when it's time to go. We did, and I'm not any the worse for wear.

8. Give your mug away. I had a tradition for years of giving my mugs away to women who were coming in to the Fest. If this seems sexist, remember that we ladies make less per hour of work than guys do. This year, however, we figured our friends might need them since we got the head-start. So, if you are looking for mugs, leave me a comment. (I've also alerted a few friends, so first come, first served.)

Overall, I didn't actually learn much, but had loads of fun~~and tasted plenty of good beers. Cheers!

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