Well, trying for peace in my wee little corner of the world isn't always easy. After a tough night, Joaquin and I were not at all on the same page. Heck, we weren't even in the same book. At way-too-early in the morning he was singing and I was muttering expletives in my head while trying to convince him that it was still sleeping time. This had worked twice last night, even if it took half an hour each time, so I thought I'd give it another shot. Apparently, the third time isn't always the charm. Dragged my tired self out of bed and began the day with droopy eyes and a cup of tea.
Oh, and did I mention that Mr. Chipper Happy-Morning-to-Thee turned into Senor Crankypants as soon as we got downstairs? Mama has to go into the bathroom. Cry.Mama can't let you play in the refrigerator. Cry.Mama needs two hands to mix up your yogurt,cheerios and raisin concoction you loudly demand. Cry and whine.
Mama gives up. I took a shower and then decided to run a bath for him. Ahhh...much better.
Taking a walk also helped, so after a bit more fussing through an early lunch, I jammed the shoes on his wiggly toes and we got outside. "Ahhhh" once again. We toodled around the neighborhood for a while, then picked up Susie Sunshine and Evan Everbright from preschool. Started a book but "Wahhhh!!!"--time to adjust plans. Get older kiddos set up with markers, construction paper, scissors (oh, god, please don't destroy your clothes while I'm not there!) and threw in a tape of The Velveteen Rabbit. Nursed kiddo and was back in less than 20 minutes.
Finding peace on earth, or in my house, isn't always easy. But if I look hard, I can find the moments when I'm washing out a cup and listening to the Rabbit become Real. I can sit and enjoy a piece of leftover salmon and some crackers and listen while the kids talk about barfing and siblings and all sorts of stuff and just not care.
And I could immerse myself in the book we started reading, and then had to stop, Jane Yolen's dear treasure "Owl Moon". I love reading this book aloud, letting the stillness between the lines and pages fill up that negative space like so much snow on the cold winter night the child and father go owling. Yolen wrote a book which is an absolute joy to read, one that transformed our little house into a bright, woolen scarf and mittens winter night and left me feeling so calm and centered.
And then Little Whip woke up. Toddled out and said "booby!" and then curled up in my lap.
The rest of our day has been busy, but I found my moment of peace. In a book in the forest in the winter with a father and an owl. By the time I headed out for a few beers with a friend from across the street, I felt far more centered than I did when I woke up.
ahhh...but I never was a morning person.